I left a piece of my heart in the driveway of my two dear friends and their three beautiful children on Sunday night. My physical home for the past 3 weeks but part of my family for the past 9 years.

Our little family was part of a larger one that started when most of us were 20-something and single.  We called ourselves, “the peeps”. We spent our weekends playing Wii, tennis, swimming, and mostly just spending time learning how to be ourselves around each other. And before I even realized it, I was home.

And so it was for the first few years, fun, games, Sunday hikes and time.

And then life was tested. Things rattled us. The church that brought us together felt broken for a bit. Time that was so prevalent became more scarce. New people came and others went away. The single life for most turned to marriage and slowly a group of 20-something’s were in their 30’s and life looked different.

When you consider a group of friends as family, at some point you’re faced with the choice to stick it out or to go. The choice to stay means going past video games and into marriage battles. Going beyond the leisures of swimming and into the feelings of sinking. You go through not only learning to be yourself but into the realization that people, who really know you, love ALL of you. They often know you better than you know yourself. They see you at your worst, they encourage you to be your best and they sometimes just allow you to stay just where you are.

The choice of community is hard. There are no legal requirements or blood ties. Every day you wake up and you make a choice. You pick up the phone, you stop by unannounced, you care for their spouses and children, you give of yourself to others because every day you choose them and they choose you.

And then one day came and I met a man…and before I had time to stop and think, I realized I was home. God spoke to me and said this is who you will choose. He will be stable when you feel rattled, he will float when you feel like sinking, and he will chose you, everyday. And I knew that my marriage would not be something completely new but a fuller realization of something I already had. My community, my “peeps”, my family had already shown me a glimpse of what marriage and commitment would be.  They had prepared me for becoming a Bride.

And then my groom and I were given another choice. One that meant moving closer to more family. The blood kind of family. And so we asked our family here what they thought about our choice. And they all said that the choice is clear, you need to leave us and go to them.

So we listened. We leave one family to live with the other. And even though a huge piece of our heart is left, and our hearts feel a little broken and incomplete, we remember that once you choose family that’s it. They are yours. For better or worse, in sickness and in health, near or far.

So today we choose. We choose to stay even though we go. We still choose you. We will choose to pick up the phone, get on a plane, plan family vacations, and listen when you call. And while our time may be less often and a little less unannounced, we will be stable when you feel shaky. We will float when you start to sink. We choose to let God fill the space between us and reshape our family into something we still call home.